Get A Life


More or less, those were the words Jason told me two weeks ago.  He said I need to get a life other than Phoenix.  How dare him.  Those words still haunt me.  For 32 years I have had a life.  A very wonderful life, might I add.  Now, my life is my son.  Is that really such a bad thing?  He insists that I never leave him (unless he is sleeping), that I no longer meet with my friends, shop, tan, etc. anymore.  Well I call that bull.  I, along with Phoenix, still have our lunch dates with friends, still meet for coffee and still run errands (all around his naps of course).  Phoenix is my life and I wouldn't want it any other way.

With all that being said, he does have a slight point....maybe.  I do realize that I have a hard time leaving Phoenix, even with him.  The few times I do, and for the short amount of time I am gone, I call every five minutes just to make sure he is okay.  I see nothing wrong with that.  I try and schedule my errands after Jason gets home and Phoenix is either napping or down for the night.  I need to know Phoenix is being interacted with and not stuck in a carseat for hours at a time.  Once he gets older and can interact more with the world, this will change.  Therefore, again, I see nothing wrong with that.

I know Jason takes great care of Phoenix.  Sometimes maybe even better than I do.  After that comment was made, I was over it.  Phoenix was down for a nap and I told Jason I was leaving.  I would be back after 8 once Phoenix was down for the night and that I wouldn't call-no matter what.    There was food in the fridge he could make and milk in the freezer just in case.  Told him to bathe him as well.  He has never bathed Phoenix before, so I was curious as to how that was going to turn out.  So that's just what I did.  I got in the car.  I had no idea where I was going to go, nor how I was going to go from 5 o'clock that night to 6:30 the next morning without seeing my baby.  I just wanted to be home with my baby.  I finally decided on Barnes and Noble.  Close to the house-just in case, coffee and books.  What more could I ask for.

I got there, ordered my regular venti white mocha, 2 extra pumps, stirred, grabbed a couple of my gossip magazines I love to read and found a few books I thought might be good for Phoenix.  Found me a spot in the kids section and plopped myself down on the floor in a nice, cozy corner.  I started reading.  Low and behold the phone rings and I answer-is everything okay?  He needed to know how to make his food.  Once that was under control, the phone rings again.  This time he tells me he is going to bathe Phoenix upstairs.  He had never bathed upstairs before.  I sat there trying to focus on my books.  All I could think about was how my son was at home getting his first ever bath in the big boy tub.  I couldn't miss this.

I gather up my things and head home.  I had decided on the way home, I would just stop in for a second to take a few pictures and then I'd head out again.  I arrive home to find Phoenix in the tub upstairs!  However, Jason had placed his smaller tub (the one we use in the sink) inside and had him sitting on the infant side.  Good thing Mama came to the rescue!  I do give Jason an A for effort though.    I was a bit perturbed that I was interrupted by "I'm going to bathe him in the tub" to him really not being bathed in the "tub."  I was there, so I took a few pictures anyways.

I then left.  Where to go now.  What better place than the grocery store.  I strolled leisurely down each and every isle.  I think I even hit an isle or two twice!  I purchased my groceries and decided I had enough.  I had to know my baby was sleeping.  I came home.  Phoenix was in his room crying.  It broke my heart.  He doesn't normally cry when you put him to bed.  As bad as it hurt, I just sat my happy butt on the couch.  He stopped a few minutes later and was safe and sound dreaming away.

What I took away from Jason's comment that still haunts me.  My son is going to be okay.  With or without me by his side every second of his life, he will survive.  Its good for him to have daddy time as well.  The following week I confessed and told Jason how refreshed I feel after having a night off.  To his approval, I told him I was going to start doing that once a week.  I haven't done it since.  However, it made me realize that Phoenix is just as happy, healthy and loved even when I'm not there.

As mad as I was at Jason for telling me to get a life, I realize he was just doing it to help me.  He is such a great husband and father.  Always putting Phoenix and I ahead of himself.  We truly are blessed to have him forever.  I enjoyed my night off, but realize that I do have a life.  His name is Phoenix.