God's Plans are Perfect....

Even when it doesn't correlate to our own.

We were faced with the difficult decision to keep our daughter (dog) and let her die of starvation or to put her to sleep in peace.  As hard as it was for us, we love her too much to make her suffer-regardless of how much harder it would eventually be.

I will never forget being in the vets room on Jan. 4 and seeing her go from a dog being held by her Daddy to a dog laying there in her Daddys arms taking her last breath.  It was one of the hardest, most heart-wrenching things I have EVER witnessed.  It literally ripped my heart to pieces.  She was fine one second and gone then next.  Just like that.  To be honest, it was disgusting.  The whole "putting your pet to sleep" process is totally disgusting.  Just thinking about it makes me want to vomit.  I still see it soo vividly in my mind.  I just wish I could figure out how to make it go away.

Jason and I came home and buried her in the backyard.  We can see her from every window facing the backyard in the house.  She's in a good place now.  We know this, but it still sucks.  Even over a month later, our home is not the same.  There is an emptiness that doesn't seem to be disappearing anytime soon.  Our hearts are still hurting.  Hurting bad.

My friends had Phoenix.  After burying Dixie, Jason and I took a walk.  We soon realized we needed Phoenix here with us.  We knew it was going to be a long night.  With even longer days to come.  But we knew our family needed to be together during this time.

I had received some news earlier that evening from God.  News that made it seem like our family was going to be okay.  Or was it?  I had no idea, especially now.  Do I share with Jason or wait until he isn't soo heartbroken.  I decided God led me to this news on this particular day for a reason.  He wanted me to share.  He needed me to share.  He knew it would help heal the heart of my husband, who was hurting more than words will ever be able describe.

So I did.  I wasn't sure the best way to go about it though.  And to be honest-I was a little afraid of his reaction. But I did.  Through a card.   I shared with Jason the new plan God showed me just a few hours earlier.  God knew Jason needed it, even though Jason didn't even seem to realize it at the moment.  I couldn't blame him though.  After all, this news was not something we wanted, nor were expecting.  It was a total shock to us, especially after just burying my husbands Best Friend.  It was not written in our script.  Not the script Jason and I had written for our family.

SURPRISE!!!

You aren't in control of your script.  God is.  At the time our hearts were breaking, God gave us a sign that he was protecting us.  He was taking care of our family.  Not in the way we were planning to care for it, but He was definitely taking care of it.  He was showing us that we would heal.  We would be able to keep Dixie in our family, but that we ARE to move on and continue growing.

Yes, that's right-continue GROWING.

So even when we think we have everything mapped out to a T, we are always receiving signs that help to remind us that God's Plans are Perfect....Even When it Doesn't Correlate to Our Own.  

Thank you God for the constant reminders.  

*The shock of another child has worn off, as we knew it would.  We just needed some time.  Jason and I thought our family was 100% complete with just Phoenix.  We are all 3 thrilled though.  Phoenix is constantly pointing to my tummy saying "Baby."  Also, when you ask him if Mama is having a boy or a girl, he ALWAYS says GIRL-ALWAYS.  Seeing him soo excited really makes our hearts happy.

Again, God is Great and his Plans are, apparently, even Greater ;).

Just an Update on Our Lives

I swear, I thought last month was my most favorite age, but this is coming close real fast!!!!

Potty:  We have made great progress here.  Phoenix decided one day that he was going to start telling us when he has to go.  He hasn't looked back since.  Whether its #1 or #2, its all Kuh-Kah in his eyes.  We are in panties around 90% of the time at home (even during most naps), but I'm not brave enough to take him out in public yet without a diaper.  Hopefully soon though.  If in a diaper, and he uses the potty, he immediately follows by, "Awe, man."  Its too cute!!!  I'm happy that he's aware when he goes in the diaper.  His baby potty is now used strictly as a step stool.  He is finally (as of today) using his seat that goes on top of the regular potty.  We normally have to sit there and hold him because he was refusing to use his it.  Most days we don't have any accidents, but the days we do-we have enough to last a week :).  I think sometimes he tries to wait until the last possible second before telling us he as to go because as soon as he says it, he comes.

INSERT A DAY AFTER UBOVE WAS WRITTEN: We ventured out for breakfast and a car ride yesterday morning.  We daringly left Phoenix in his underwear.  We were gone a little over 2 hours, including a nap in the car, and we didn't have any accidents!!!  We then decided to drop Phoenix off at my parents house to play with my nieces while Jason and I grabbed a bite to eat.  We took him in underwear.  Brought 2 diapers and a change of pants, just in case.  We got back and to our surprise, he was still in underwear and the same pants!!! Woo-hoo!!!!!!

Words:  He is talking up a storm these days.  He is constantly adding new words to his vocabulary.  His most popular sayings include: "Where he go?," "Uh-Oh!," "See!" and "Awe, Man."  He makes us constantly laugh when he says these things.  He will also attempt anything I tell him.  His manners are fairly good, he uses thank-you, yes sir/maam, and please the most frequent.

Actions:  He is still into tools, cleaning, cars, and being outdoors.  He is a very under control kid.  I've had 2 people in just the past week tell me that he is the exception.  To me, its his personality, nothing better or different than other boys his age.  He is great about cleaning up after himself and he rarely makes a complete and total mess.  Its not often I have to get onto him.  He also loves playing downstairs in his playroom.  He is still way into music too.

However, we are having these "fits" now.  Sometimes I think he gets overly frustrated.  Either because he can't say what he wants/how he's feeling or because he doesn't have the patience for us to figure it out.  They don't happen often enough to drive me crazy (yet, anyways) and I typically ignore him completely when he is having one.  They don't last but a minute or so, especially if you ignore him.

He is just too much fun and we love every second of every day with him!!!!  His curiosity, personality, heart, thought process, everything.  We love it all!!!!

We are still adjusting to our new normal without Dixie.  The house is soo empty.  Phoenix randomly calls out for her.  Jason completely avoids the subject.  Its definitely hard and our house is definitely not the same.  

Overall, I'd say we are doing well.  Langscapes is doing wonderful, Phoenix and I are having a blast, and we are enjoying lots of quality time together as a family.  Oh yeah-Phoenix started Gymboree and really seems to love it!!!!