CHAOS. Thats the best way to put it. Phoenix and I started work on Monday. I always include him, because he gets to come to work with me-therefore, he is working as well :). I work 3 hours Monday, 4 on Wednesday and 4 on Thursday. Sounds simple enough, right???
SO ONE WOULD THINK.......
Monday was a complete and total disaster. When I say complete, I don't even think that quite accomplishes the picture I'm trying to paint here. Lets just say more than once during the 3 short (ha) hours I was at work, I ended up in tears like over half the babies in there. It was awful. I got there early so Phoenix could play before I up and left him. I was nervous since this was the first time I've ever attempted anything like this. He went straight in and began playing. I knew he would. I was doing a ballet class from 9-10, then a karate class from 10-11. I was totally relieved. As the minutes passed, more kids began piling in. Kids were screaming everywhere, including mine. It was mad chaos. Phoenix fed off the other kids and screamed non-stop for 3 straight hours. On top of that, there were things that I wasn't too fond of-things that will get worked out in time, but things that didn't make me want to leave my child there.
I left 15 minutes after my shift ended. Not because it was time for me to go, but because I was holding a sleeping child in my arms. Now don't get me wrong, I was headed straight for the door as soon as they would let me, but I wanted to make sure someone was coming in to replace me. Oh well. I came home and crashed as well. Immediately I started dreading what Wednesday was going to be like. Needless to say, Monday night I ended up with a migraine, that 4 days later still isn't gone.
Wednesday rolled around. We walked into the place and Phoenix was fine. However, as we approached the child center, he immediately started signing/saying all finished, go bye bye. He wanted NOTHING to do with that place. I didn't blame him. I was able to get my shift worked out where I was in the toddler room with him the entire 4 hours. This seem to make it a lot easier on both of us. He wasn't stuck to my hip the whole time either. He played, even with kids crying. I think just having me around made him feel more comfortable. This might work out after all.
Thursday came. Phoenix fell asleep in the car on the way there. Broke my heart to have to wake him for something like this. Again, I was able to get it worked out where I was in the infant room the entire time. They graciously allowed Phoenix in there with me. He did great with all the babies. He was gentle and even fed one of the babies her bottle. I was soo proud of him and the big brother he is already becoming :). We had no real tears today either. I actually left there thinking this might work.
Jason is ready for me to throw the towel in. He doesn't think its fair to either Phoenix or myself. However, I'm not quite ready to give up. I really think once Phoenix acclimates to the situation he'll be fine. Its a totally new concept for him and I know it'll take some time. Plus, I think once all the life time hype dies down a bit it won't be so chaotic in there. I just try to avoid the conversation any time Jason brings up me quitting at this point. I know being a member and a member only would be soo much easier, but it doesn't eliminate the fact that Phoenix is still crying whenever I leave him. Thats still going to happen whether I work there or not. If only I could get all the other babies to be happy, then I wouldn't have to worry about my own.
We'll see what Monday brings. I am hoping to take Phoenix up there at some point today to just "play." We haven't done that yet and I think once he sees its not all bad, he'll accommodate a lot better. Fingers crossed.
Please pray for us in the upcoming weeks. This is truly something I would love to work out. Even if it only lasts until September when this other baby comes along. Speaking of-we find out Monday what we're having and we can't wait!!!! Don't worry-I'll definitely fill all of you guys in :). Pray also for a wonderful check up for all, please.
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