Dixie, our dog, received some bad news yesterday. She has 2 spots, 1 near her liver, the other near her intestines. Between the spots and blood work, all signs are pointing to Cancer. Oh, how I hate that word.
Surgery isn't really an option for her. She is old (will be 10 on the 10th), overweight (partly my fault), and just not up to it (according to the vet). Our only option really is putting her to sleep. We don't want her to suffer, drag it out for her to die of starvation (which will happen before the cancer kills her), or risk losing her on the operating table. We want to be with her. We want her to go in peace surrounded by her family.
We brought her home yesterday to spend a bit more time with her. I don't think I've put my camera down since. She is on medicine to help her, or help us. Not sure which.
This morning, I sat Phoenix down on my lap in the den. I was trying to explain to him that Dixie is going to live with Jesus soon. That he will no longer be able to climb on top of her, feed her treats all day, or yell out for Dixie, then go searching for her.
My eyes quickly filled with tears. What an unfair lesson for such an innocent kid. Dixie is truly his best friend. Not sure I could say vice versa :). I think Phoenix drives her a bit nuts sometimes!
This is the first life lesson we are having to teach Phoenix about. There is no other way to put it-it SUCKS. My heart hurts soo bad for my son. I know he doesn't "get it," but unfortunately that is not making the situation any easier. I dread the day when Dixie is no longer here and he goes to her closet to get her a treat or he bends over, puts his hands on his knees and calls out, "Dixie." I don't want to go there, but sadly, I know the day is coming. Coming way too soon.
I can't imagine coming home to a house without Dixie. She was always at the door to greet us. Always in the room with us. Always part of our family. I am soo glad we took her with us to my sisters on Christmas so she could spend her last holiday with all of her family. God is Good.
My heart hurts just thinking of what Phoenix will do when he can no longer give her a treat before we leave the house. When he can no longer play with his best friend. When he can no longer "secretively" feed her at dinner time. I just can't imagine.
My heart is definitely breaking, piece by piece.
Pray for Dixie-that she may not suffer during the last days of her life. Pray for Phoenix-that he will adapt to his new life without his best friend. Pray for me-that I will find the strength to be the support that my family is going to need. Especially pray for Jason-that he will cope, forgive Cancer (or God), and that he will be able to remember the good years. He needs prayers more than any of us. Please pray.
Thank you Dixie for years of happiness and wonderful memories. They will stay in our home and hearts forever. I promise.
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