Tubes + Mama = TEARS

Tears.  Not a friend of mine.  I can't seem to control them today.  I've been looking forward to the "tubes" process for a long time now.  I KNOW how simple a procedure it is.  I KNOW how quick it is going to be.  What I DIDN'T know was how big of a mess I would become today.  They are streaming while I'm nursing, while I'm constantly praying, while we're playing, while I'm changing his diaper.  It seems they are constant and I HATE it.  We had a rough day yesterday with CONSTANT pulling on both ears and crying hysterically throughout the day.  Today he seems soo much better.  Its me thats crying hysterically now.  I am soo ready for this day to be over.  I just want it to be 7:30 in the morning when all this is behind us and I can hold my Buttah knowing he is okay.

Please pray for my Buttah in the morning.  He is soo strong and I know he'll go through this procedure much better than Jason or myself.  I know he is in great hands and I know God will be with him the whole time.  I know he will have so much relief after this is all over and done with.  We all will.

Hear, Hear We've Almost Hit a Year!!!

Buttah is now 11 months old.  That means I am about to have a child in the "years."  I am trying to prepare myself for that day.  Hopefully no tears will be shed, but I'm not promising anything.  I really can't believe he is 11 months already.  My goodness, times flies when you're having fun.  With that being said, you can only imagine how fast the time has flown.  I'm thinking somewhere around the speed of sound.

I know all parents say this, but Jason and I truly have been blessed with the best child ever.  He has spoiled us so much that it really scares us to think of what another child will be like.  I mean, there is NO way we could get this blessed again.  He has been sleeping through the night since 3 1/2 months (but even prior, was sleeping 4-6 hour stretches), eats like a man, plays with the demeanor of a grown boy, and still has the innocence of a sweet 11 month old "mama's boy."  I can't get over how he randomly leans in towards you with his mouth wide open wanting a big wet kiss.  He always catches us by surprise, but my goodness-I LIVE for those sweet kisses.

I'm trying not to be too biased here, but let's just face it; he is everything we ever dreamed of and then some.

Okay, back on track now.

He weighed in at the doctor last week at 23.5 lbs.  That was after not eating for 4 days too.  He is wearing size 4 diapers.  He loves all his snacks and enjoys feeding himself his meals now.  Sometimes I can handle it, but other times I can't.  He loves giving and blowing kisses.  He loves waving hi and bye to strangers passing.  He hates having his diaper changed.  He hates being told "no."  He has mastered the, "How old is Phoenix" question by responding with a 1 (using his hands).  We listen to Roger Day (thanks Chele Chele and boys) so much over and over in the car that he now knows what is about to come.  So when its about to sing clap your hands, he does it.  He also waves his in front of his nose at the pee-ewe (spelling??) part, as well as screams at the screaming part.  I can't wait to take him to see Roger Day live at the library next week!  He also signs thank you.  I should probably be doing more signs with him seeing how quickly he picks up on them, but I'm not that disciplined.  Shame on me.  He is also cruising everywhere.  He has taken 1 step a few times, but won't seem to go any further than that.  He is standing alone better.  He has even clapped for himself while doing it, before realizing what he was actually doing :)  He loves flushing the toilet and then trying to stick his hand in to get the water.  He also enjoys unraveling the toilet paper.  Needless to say, the bathroom is now off limits.  The kitchen is like a playground to him.  He loves opening and closing the cabinets and drawers.  Helping load and unload the dishwasher and clearing his tray after dinner (by feeding his leftovers to Sister Sister) are also some of his favorite things to do. He also enjoys helping with the laundry.

He loves playing with his toys.  He spends hours driving his truck all through the house and he would ride his ride-on toy all day if I'd just continue to push him.  Again, shame on me.  He enjoys putting toys inside of his train and fetching them out over and over.  I love watching him figure things out.  He really does try and understand his actions and the results of them.

Jason calls me on his way home every evening.  If Phoenix is still up, I go to the couch, move the curtains out of the way and sit looking out the window.  As soon as Phoenix sees me doing this, he starts saying, "DaDa, DaDa" crawls as fast as possible over to the couch and gets up there with me.  He anxiously stares out the window until Jason comes home.  The excitement in his eyes when he sees his truck is beyond describable.  Then when he sees him walking up the walk, he gets soo excited and quickly turns to get off the couch and crawl to the door.  I fall in love with my two boys all over again everyday at this time.

We had a great Memorial Day.  We went to the doctor at 10:00.  Found out his ears aren't any better and was again told that tubes are the only thing that are going to help him.  We went ahead and got another shot since it seems to make him feel somewhat better.  Again, we are trying to minimize the pain until the tubes.  He is still not eating though.  He lost almost a pound from Saturday afternoon until Monday morning :(  We then came home to attempt a nap.  Two naps to be honest.  Both were complete failures.  Jason got home from work and we packed up and headed over to my sister's house to swim and eat and just enjoy time as a family with family.  It was a perfect afternoon.  Phoenix had a blast swimming.  He would sit on the side of the pool and jump in and go under.  Come up and clap for himself!  He LOVED it!!! It was soo great seeing him soo happy.  He didn't eat a thing for dinner, but I didn't force it.  He did have a few crackers.  We enjoyed a nice meal and headed home past his bedtime.  He was a trooper though.  Never once got fussy, just passed out as soon as we got in the car! It truly was a great afternoon.  He even got to spend some quality time with his Godmother!!!  I loved watching them together!!!

We had a nice day today.  Didn't do to much.  We were suppose to have coffee with a dear, sweet friend of mine but rescheduled for later in the week.  I'm trying not to do "too much" with him.  I just want him better right now.  We did run a few errands though-to the bank, dermatologist (pick up some rx for his face and body), and grocery store to get Sister Sister some food, but that's about it. Nothing too exciting.

We then headed off to our BIG appointment with the ENT.  I've been looking forward to this appointment since the first month of ear infections.  Soo relieved the time is finally here!  Well, his tests came back flat.  They are suppose to be hill-like, but his are completely flat.  Something to do with the pressure.  Either way-this doctor also agreed-tubes are the only option.  I was told to stop the antibiotic.  Basically, its pointless.  He gave me the option to do it either tomorrow or Friday.  I went with Friday-not because I want to prolong the pain for my Buttah, but for other reasons.  Regardless, I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and I couldn't be more thankful for that!!!

Buttah, we are so proud of how strong you've been through all your pain.  You continue to fill our hearts with love more and more everyday.  We look forward to each day and its experiences with you.  We love you to the moon and back Buttah!!!!

As much as I Love it, I can't help but Hate it Even More...and Alittle More

Phoenix took his usual afternoon nap yesterday.  He didn't nap well in the morning so I was expecting a great afternoon one.  He slept for about an hour, maybe.  Oh well.  He obviously had no desire to nap.  No big deal.  Well, I went to get him out of the bed and noticed he was burning up.  I mean I could feel the heat through his clothes (and yes, he was clothed).  I thought maybe he was just hot from sleeping.  Waited a few minutes and he was still HOT.  Took his temp.  It was 102.5.  Waited a few minutes and it was up to 103.5.  A few more minutes later it was 103.8.  Gave him motrin and called the doctor and got him in that afternoon.

He usually runs a slight (101-102) fever when he has a right ear infection.  Never run one before with a left one.  However, it has NEVER been this high.  His nose had also started running.  Not as bad as with his usual ear infections though.  He also wasn't eating like himself.  He wanted to nurse 24/7 and that was it.  Usual sign of an ear infection.  For the most part he had still been napping well and was still sleeping great at night.  He also had a little case of diarrhea the last few days.  Chalked that up to nothing.

Anyways, we went to the doctor.  Left ear is full of puss and right ear is red, no puss yet.  It blows my mind how his ears get soo bad and we have no "real" signs of pain out of him.  He still plays, smiles, laughs and is happy.  The kid amazes me.

We got our script from the pharmacy and headed home for what I anticipated to be a LONG night.  Nope.  He was perfect.  He didn't eat, just nursed and slept the entire night.  What a trooper.

This morning I got him up and again he was burning up.  This time he was crying and wouldn't stop.  Took his temp and it was back up in the 103's.  Quickly gave him motrin, his presciption, and numbing drops for his ears.  He was still very fussy.  All he wanted was his mama.  He wouldn't even go to DaDa. I hate to admit it, but I loved it.  Is that bad?  I savored every second he wanted me to hold him.  This is a RARE occurrence in our home.  He was  refusing DaDa-the kid must REALLY be hurting.  We finally decided to go for a walk.  That calmed him down.  He continued to run a fever all day, even with the motrin/tylenol swap-off.  He didn't eat much of anything other than the boobster and snacks.  No real food though.  He took 2 good naps today as well.  He is now down for the night.  He had his last dose of motrin at 4:20.  We might wake him and give him tylenol at 8:30 just to help the fever.  Still debating that one though.  He was still in the 101's when we took it right before bed (around 6:30).  I don't want it to get too high during the night, but I hate to wake him.  What to do?

Jason took a bath with him tonight.  He loved it!  What special memories.

I loved him loving on me.  It NEVER happens, especially if Jason is anywhere around.  However, I hated that my buttah was hurting soo bad.  It literally broke my heart when he would be crying and looking into my eyes as if saying, "make it stop mama."  Thankfully, the crying only lasted a bit and he was back to his normal, happy, playful, DaDa loving self!  So yes, I LOVED my special time with Phoenix but I would have gladly given it up to have him feeling better.


Also-we have an ENT consultation appointment on Tuesday for tubes.  Hopefully we can now get rid of these ear infections once and for all.

Two Posts Combined into One:

Over the past few days Phoenix has still been running a fairly high temp., not eating or drinking much at all, still having diarrhea and having very few wet diapers.  As the days progressed his energy levels decreased.  By evening, he was pathetic.

Jason and I decided to go ahead and call the nurse this morning.  Saturday.  She wanted him to be seen so we had an 11:00 appointment.  His left ear is still filled with puss-not any better, and now his right ear is filled with puss as well.  The doctor said this explains all the symptoms (the high fever, not eating/drinking, diarrhea, etc.)  We got a shot and were told to come back Monday (yes, Memorial Day) for another round of the shot and to have them rechecked.  She was gracious enough to let us skip a day (since he is already on another antibiotic) between the shots.  Otherwise, we would have had to go to the hospital to get it (since its Sunday).  I'm very thankful for that.

We are to continue the antibiotic, just altering the dosage.  She also said to stop the tylenol and do motrin every 6 hours.  Hopefully the shot will give him relief until Monday.  That is what we are all hoping for at this point.

To put it how the doctor explained it.  At this point we are just trying to cover the problem with band-aids at this point.  We are simply trying to buy us some time until we can get tubes put in.  She feels this is our only option and needs to be done rather quickly.  She also seems to think this will put an end to all this pain for Phoenix.  Boy do I pray she is right.

A Few of His Loves...and mine too!!!!

We have all been doing great here in the Land of the Langs.  Praise God!  Phoenix and I are enjoying our time together, whether its at the park, story time, the zoo, or even the grocery store.  I love taking this kid places and seeing his reactions to others and the environment.  He is so curious and very social, which turns each outing into a twice-as-long-as-it-was-suppose-to-be event.  However, I am totally okay with that.

Currently, Phoenix has 2 major loves in his life.  Actually, he's had them his entire life, but for some reason-they seem to get more evident the older he gets.

Phoenix LOVES his DaDa.  The word love really doesn't even quite capture it.  He is OBSESSED.  Whenever Jason is home, Phoenix is by his side.  No exceptions.  Jason can't walk out of the room without a total breakdown from Phoenix.  All he wants to do is hang out with his DaDa, all day, every day.  I wish they could spend more than a few minutes together everyday, but then again-there would be no room for me in Phoenix's life if that was the case.  However, seeing Phoenix whenever Jason is around brings more joy to my heart than I ever thought possible.  It is simply amazing.

DaDa is ALWAYS close by

Waiting on DaDa to get home from work

DaDa keeps us all afloat

The second of his 2 loves his food.  He is just like his Dad, I swear.  This kid eats anything and everything.  And tons of it.  We have been letting Phoenix do more of his own feedings, either with a spoon or by hand.  I am also trying to puree a whole lot less.  Phoenix loves his food pureed, my guess-it is quicker to eat, allowing him more food in less time (again, just like his Daddy).  However, I am really trying to get him to chew more.  He stuffs his mouth entirely too much but somehow manages.  He must also have food in BOTH hands.  He will either break whatever it is in half or demand another for the other hand.  Here in the last 2 months he's started a new thing with the boobster.  He comes over to me and tries lifting my shirt, as to say, "Feed Me Woman."  He also enjoys standing while nursing now.  I lay on the couch and he stands on the floor.  Creeps me out a bit, but only another month.  As much as I'm looking forward to being finished being a human cow, I dread the day.  I have a feeling Phoenix isn't going to be as glad to be off of the boobster as I will be!  I'll spare you pictures of him nursing!

I love seeing him grow into an individual.  I love being able to spend all day, every day with him.  I love hearing him laugh.  I love hearing him cry.  I love hearing him say DaDa.  I love watching him explore his surroundings.  I love how he tries to be sneaky when doing things he knows is wrong.  I love everything about him.  I love him to the moon and back.

Beach BUMer

The time FINALLY came for us to take Phoenix to the beach for the first time.  We have been looking forward to this weekend for over a year now.

Here's a quick recap of our trip:

           -Juliet:  Spent her time in the bathroom.  Caught some sort of stomach bug that started on the    
           way down and never left.  Made a few short appearances at the pool, lazy river and the beach.                  
           Didn't eat or drink anything all from Thursday-Saturday, in fear of never getting to leave the
           condo.

          -Jason:  Spent his time taking care of Juliet and Phoenix.  Had no time for anything else.  Was a
          total trooper.  Took Phoenix to the pool, lazy river and the beach.  Fed him, drove around hours
          at a time so Phoenix could nap, and slept with one arm in the pack 'n play so Phoenix could at
          least get some sort of sleep at night.

         -Phoenix:  Loved lazy river.  Loved swimming in the indoor pool.  Had a blast playing in the
          ocean.  Tore into sand castles like a bulldozer.  Hated the pack 'n play.  Was sleep and food
          deprived.  Had a blast at the beach.

So as you can tell, our trip was NOT exactly how we envisioned it to be.  I guess trips will never be anymore.  I am ever so grateful to Jason for at least trying to make the best out of our situation so that Phoenix could enjoy "moments" of fun.  Phoenix and I truly are lucky to have him.  We left on Thursday and were planning on staying until today, however; we decided to come home yesterday since I was not any better.  I hate that we had to cut the trip short.  I hate that I didn't feel well enough to do anything fun with my boys.  I hate that we didn't get to spend more time with my sister and nieces, Sophie and Rachael.  I hate that I will always look back at Phoenix's first time at the beach and remember the little time I spent with him.

I did force myself out of the room long enough to get some pictures though, and for that I will forever be thankful.  I am also very thankful for Marie who did a quick photo session on the beach the morning we left.  All I wanted was pictures of us at the beach.  She made it happen.  I can't wait to see them.  Below are a few that I mustarded up the strength to snap (thankfully there are none showing how I spent my time)!!!!

\

 

Sorry about the layout and cluster, but to be honest-I'm not feeling well enough to deal with it.  Please forgive me.  Also, Happy Mother's Day to all you fabulous mothers out there!