Makes My Heart Sad..

to see the tears in my sons eyes each and every morning when his Dada leaves for work.  It always seems to do a number on my heart.  The desire this kid has to spend every moment with his dad is indescribable.  Most mornings, after the millions of hugs and kisses, and fights to "come to mama," I usually can get him calm by standing him at the door so we can wave bye to dada for the day.  He is then usually over it.  Its just the "good bye" part that is so hard on me.

On mornings when Jason leaves before Phoenix gets up, my heart really hurts.  Phoenix walks around the house, peeking his head into different rooms in the house calling out "DADA, DADA" as if Jason is going to magically appear.  He does this all morning long.  Just wondering around looking for his Dada.  I guess he thinks he is downstairs getting his truck ready for work and will be up any minute now.  Who knows.  My heart doesn't take well to it though :(

The craziest thing of all though-I swear I think Phoenix knows when its the weekend and Jason is SUPPOSE to be home and not working.  I say this because he has such a harder time in the mornings when Jason goes to work on the weekends.  For instance, Jason ended up leaving an hour later than he was planning to leave this morning simply because Phoenix would not leave his arms.  It literally brought tears to my eyes.  All the kid wants is to be near his Dada.  My heart doesn't hurt because he refuses me, it hurts because he is hurting and because I know it must be a million times harder for Jason than it is for me.  There is NO way I'd be able to leave my kid if I was in that situation.  Jason is a bigger man than I'll ever be :)  That alone shows how much he loves Phoenix.

I love how much Phoenix loves his Dada and the bond that the two already have.  It truly is like nothing in the world.  Phoenix is like a totally different kid when he is with Jason.  They bond over guy things and do things I'd never let him get away with.  He is a spitting image of his daddy in all regards and that might just be one of the millions of reasons I'm soo in love with my little man.  To see the two of them together is like nothing I've ever witnessed.  I look forward to the two of them having more time to bond together in the future and for us to have more time as a family.  Because I'd like to think I fit in there somewhere :)