Thankfully, his Aunt Kissa Kissa came through for her bud. She volunteered to take him to the zoo. Phoenix was soo "eggcited." He talked about it the whole evening prior. The first thing he said to me that morning was, "Mama, I soo eggcited. I go to zoo to see animals and ride train with Kissa." My heart was full of love for my sweet boy and my dear friend. I was soo very excited for him.
The morning started calm. I had packed his bag the night before and had his big brother shirt out ready for him to wear. Its the shirt that Kissa gave him and Luna that match. We snuggled in bed for a bit while I fed sister. She took her nap and we got up around 7:30 to "cook eggs." This is where my heart went from being full of love to being full of fear, guilt, sadness, and every bad thought possible.
Phoenix was up on the counter. Far enough from the stove to where he'd have to really stretch to touch it. I turned to the right to put a-one single dish-in the dishwasher when I heard the scream.
I grabbed him up and threw him in the sink. He was holding his hand. I ran it under cool water. I could immediately see the blister. I panicked. Thankfully, the phone was in arms reach. I quickly called Jason. He couldn't understand me for the life of him. All I kept screaming was that I needed help and Phoenix had to get to the hospital.
Thank God, he left for work a little later than usual that day and so he was still pretty close.
Immediately my cell rang. I didn't know the number but something in my heart told me to answer it. Phoenix was screaming and crying uncontrollably and I was trying to figure out what the hell to do. I answered the phone. It was the 911 guy. Where he came from, I have no idea. However, I was thanking God he was there to calm me and walk me through this. Within minutes, Jason, Uncle Danny and the ambulance/fire department were inside.
Jason is holding Phoenix while the EMT's were trying to assess the damage. Danny was trying to calm me down. Of course, that didn't work.
The EMT's said that the damage wasn't too bad and he was lucky that his fingers weren't involved. Thats where the serious damage occurs. They suggested we call his doctor and get their opinion. They wanted to wrap it but didn't because Phoenix was freaking out and they were afraid the blister would pop.
Immediately I called his doctor. They originally said they couldn't see us until 11. That was over 2 hours away. They must've heard him in the background because they asked what the issue was and agreed to see us immediately. I grabbed Luna out of her bed and we left. No clothes, no diapers, nothing. We just left.
As soon as we arrived they took us back. Thankfully, the Doctor wasted no time. She was in the room the second we got there. Not even waiting for the nurse to finish doing her stuff. She immediately said we needed to head to the ER at Children's. She called them and the burn unit to inform them we were on the way.
Phoenix is still out of control. I thought his body was going to go in shock from the pain. I felt soo helpless. He kept saying, "I no like wah-wah Mama. I no like it." My heart broke into more pieces than I ever thought possible.
We finally ended up at the ER. Thankfully, Phoenix fell asleep in my arms while we were waiting. To me, that was a good sign. After speaking to the doctor, we were told he was going to get Lortab and then be sent to the burn unit. The BURN UNIT. The millions of pieces of my heart sank into my stomach. I literally thought I was going to puke. It was the most disgusting feeling in the world.
The lortab seemed to help him because he was now showing us his wah-wah, walking around as if nothing happened, and hanging out with the burn doctor like they were best friends. For this, I was thankful.
After 2 doctors in the unit checked out his hand, they decided it best to leave the blister intact and let it pop on its own. Phoenix let the doctor wrap it. Thank you God. We were also taught how to care for it and rewrap it as well. The wrapping has to be changed every day and we are to come back in a week for a follow up appointment.
By the time we were discharged, Phoenix was his normal self. I swear, the toughness of this kid amazes me. I could definitely learn a thing or two from him.
We left with a bandaged hand, a prescription for lortab, and a follow up appointment in a week. I have never been soo relieved to be out of a place in my life.
Luna was also a trooper. Sleeping almost the entire time. Thankfully, we were at Children's Hospital so the fact that I didn't have a diaper with me wasn't an issue. I am thankful for a second baby who seems to be as easy going as her brother was.
I was soo proud of Phoenix. He did amazing. I, however, am dealing with a ton of guilt. I won't even go near the stove. Jason says you can see his hand print. He tried getting me to look but I almost threw up just thinking about it. I'm not sure I'll ever cook another meal on that stove again. I can't get his screams out of my head. My panic and complete sense of helplessness. My decision to put that dish in the dishwasher immediately. Not to take him off the counter before loading that dish. Soo many "what ifs." It still makes me want to throw up. What was I thinking???? I hurt my child. I didn't protect him like I'm suppose to. I didn't even know what to do to help him. I was the most helpless I've ever been in a time that my son needed me the most.
Seeing my son walk around ever so cautious of his hand, breaks my heart. He struggles to play, struggles to eat and ends up frustrated after almost every action. He is definitely not left handed, thats for sure.
A day later and he is still doing better than I am. Uncle Danny and Jenn Jenn came by to see him. He LOVED that. He was like a totally different kid. It is going to be a long week physically for us, but even more so, emotionally. I am just ready for it to be healed so I don't have to be reminded of it constantly.
My poor baby.
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