Reliving the Nightmare

I have dreaded doing this post.  DREADED.  However, I know that in the years to come, I'll want to have it to look back on.  Yeah right.  Anyways, as of today, his hand is great.  You can still see the burn spot, but you have to look closely.  We were told that there shouldn't be any scarring, but Jason seems to think differently.  God, I hope not.  

It took some time before he would use his hand after his wrap came off.   He was more cautious with it off than with it on.  He would still eat and write with his left and and refused to put anything in his right.  Thankfully, he's come around.  He now goes nowhere near anything hot-the stove, the oven, his food, sparklers, etc.  He won't even eat his food if it tastes mildly warm.  We are definitely working on that (the food part), because for me, it just triggers that day all over in my mind.  

I am doing much better.  After about 2 weeks, I finally started using the stove again.  I wouldn't use that side of the stove, but I was using 2 eyes.  Major step.  With a little more time, I've been able to use the dreaded eye again.  I'll be honest though, some days are easier than others.  I never thought it would affect me this bad for soo long.  I relive that stupid day at least once every day.  It totally sucks.  I am soo ready for my brain to quit replaying it.  It hits randomly, but especially when he cries.  

I can't get over how I turned my head for a split second.  How I panicked soo badly I didn't even know what to do or where to go.  I was totally helpless.  The guilt of him not going on his zoo date because of my carelessness.  How I've ruined his mealtime and his love for fireworks.  The list goes on and on.  One day, I pray, one day soon, I'll be able to forgive myself and move past it.    

Hand massage and cocoa butter lotion everyday for the next year and he should be good as new.

Here is a recap of what the hand looked like:

I am happy to report that as of this past week, you can't even tell anything happened if you look at his hand.  It looks 100% healed.  Praise God.  We will still be doing the hand massage and lotion though-this Mama isn't taking ANY chances.  

Thanks to all of our friends and family who prayed for us during this time.  Thanks also to those who brought surprises over to my baby and stopped by to check on him.  Those are the times I pray I never forget.